Relationships are a crutch.

Relationships are a crutch!

I was always the guy at the school dances that was just hanging out, I went  bowling but never threw a ball, I went to the mall but never bought anything, swung by the pool party but never got in - I have always been interested in being around people. Engaging in banter and discussion is one of my favorite things, I don’t even care what the subject is, or who you are. I want to be around you more than I want to be by myself. 

Not everyone is as extreme as I am, but God created us for relationship and because of that we all have a deep desire to have community. Whether a little community here and there, or even being around community but being left alone to spectate. We have a built in need to be in community. This need comes from God, he created us to want Him, and to want other people. The church is the way that God intends us to live out this need we have for community - with both Him and others. 

It is a pretty common idea that people seek out religion (or church) as a crutch for life, as if they need something to get them through the day. I have found that churches sometimes take offense to that, thinking that it makes their relationship with God less. Honestly though - the church is a crutch and as needed as a physical crutch is to a boy with a busted knee so is our need for a relationship with God (and each other.) People have a need for something greater than themselves. Christians understand that this need is for a savior, but many find help for that need in other (insufficient) ways. 

Why is this a weakness? This is like saying: "you need to eat food, what a weakness. You need to breathe? Man it must be hard for you to be so needy!" That is ridiculous! We have a need for community with God and other people and it is a good thing to crave it! How we fill that need is the important thing to focus on. Spending time with God's word and with other Christians is where we need to start. This has to be intentional though - there are too many distractions to authentic relationships with both God and others. Television, laziness, books, this blog... We have plenty of things that we can invest our time in that don't foster real relationships and community. It is a good idea to intentionally set aside time every day for relationships. Carve out time for your relationship with God (prayer and bible study), your relationship with spouse and kids and also some friendships that know you and your family. 

Consider some intentional "real talk" with your spouse every day: share the ups and downs of the day and then talk about a dream for the future that you both share. Listen and talk. 

Try to spend time with your kids doing something they want to do and then something you want them to do. We help develop habits in our kids by what we do with them. Let them know that you are interested in what interests them but also encourage them to good new habits and activities. 

Your family needs friends. If you are a two-parent and two-kid family search out friends that are similar in make up. Single moms need other single moms, young couples need other young couples. Developing honest relationships with others in the same place as you is very important. 

What relationships in your life help "prop you up" when you need the help?

Do you need to adjust your life to intentionally add in more community with other Christians?

How can you be intentional this week with building a better community around you and your family?

No Way Out!

No Way Out!

Family, ugh. (I was going to leave the post at this – but since my audience consists mostly of my family I thought that would be dangerous for my readership numbers.)

Continuing my mini-series on relationships I want to again focus on God creating the first eternal relationships. The idea of mankind being eternal from the outset!

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The greatest part of the creation story involves two new eternal beings named Adam and Eve. Created male and Female and one for the other relationship drove the creation of these two. First, a creation in God’s image  and then a creation to accompany the original. The creation story is almost immediately followed by the story of the fall of man into sin (or out of relationship with God). In truth we don’t know exactly how long Adam and Eve experienced the benefit of relationship with God in the Garden – however the opinions of this range from minutes to years.

The truth is that it doesn’t matter, humans were created to be eternal, and that is just what Adam and Eve were. Come to think of it, that is what we are now. You see, from the outset of creation, humans have been eternal. At no time were humans any less or more than eternal. We don’t have a great grasp on what it means to be eternal, but to be honest I have a hard time imagining 65 years old too! We do understand that we are not physically eternal because of sin (although we were originally created that way) – it seems that we retain being spiritually eternal though.

To rephrase it another way, when we were created, there was no way out for us. We exist, whether in this body or not, and nothing we can do can change that. We are, and we always will be. God is eternal, and he then created man in his image. We need to come to grips with the eternal nature of our existence because only then can we truly focus on the relationship we have with God. It is hard for us because we had a beginning so, naturally we want an end.

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When we come to grips with our relationship with God going beyond the physical limitation of time it should bring us to the point where we value it higher. Our relationship with God (good or bad) is never ending. We don’t get to opt out. God’s creation will always be judged and evaluated based on the relationship between Him and it. The good thing is that God offers to make us into a new creation when the old one has lost respect and love for God. This new creation we are made into is like when a potter reforms clay from one thing to another. The new creation is still the eternal material God started with, it is now just in a new glorious form that can again be in good relationship with Him.

When you think about the eternal nature of man, how does that settle with you?

Do things have to change in your life if you understand that you will exist forever?

What are the questions that come up as a result of being eternal?

How is the new creation a better creation? Can mankind fail again as a new creation?

For Man's Benefit

For Man’s Benefit

A few years ago I wrote a book about how God intended for relationships to work. I based everything around the idea that we were created for relationship – first with God and second with each other. Actually, I went on to argue that relationship with each other is a byproduct of our original purpose in creation – not the original purpose itself. However, I stated that since God is interested in relationship with people then He is also interested in people having relationship with other people. That makes sense, right? God wants us to experience the best and if He enjoys relationship with people then wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) we?

I have decided to post a series of excerpts from this book to talk about relationships. This first one talks about God’s intention in the creation of man – the start of relationship. I have friends that have really enjoyed a recent series on television that talks about the creation of the world and origin of life based on the theory of a “Big Bang” and evolutionary devices. As a Christian, I see the world as more intentional than that – not because science proves the intentionality of the world, but because my faith in God leads me to believe that I am lovely and special; intentionally. 

So, below is an excerpt that deals with one reason for God creating man (and the world).

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God created man in his own image; man was created for the reason of fellowship with God. Not so much because God was bored, but rather because he knew it would be good for us. This is hard for us to grasp because we create things for the good of us, not for the good of the item.

You could maybe compare this to planting a tree (but still this doesn’t do it justice). When you put tree seeds in the ground and start to water them, you are doing this for the good of them. You don’t really gain much from the growing of these trees. You do gain some, whether it be fruit from it in future years, or shade while you read a book. If you are like Kelly and I, you did it because you wanted to get your landscaping deposit back from the neighborhood association.

-we create pizzas because we want to eat them.

-we create kids because we want kids.

-we create computers to make our lives easier.

That illustration doesn’t even do it justice, because God doesn’t really gain anything, because the nature of God is that he lacks nothing. So he chose to do something that we could never do, and frankly would never choose to do. God created man for man’s benefit.

Wrapping your mind around that would take an eternity, which is appropriate since that is what we all have.

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What does this mean as we pursue relationships with other people?

Does our purpose for relationships change when we consider this purpose of God’s?

How does this idea shape your understanding of God’s love for you?