"Honey, could I ask you to do something for me?" These are dangerous words which are often spoken by my wife. I can't say "no you can't ask me to do something" because then I am not even entertaining the request, but if I say "absolutely" then there will always be that blurred line of whether I simply agreed to be asked to do something or if I actually agreed to do whatever she was going to request. I believe this is a trick that many wives know and use. Men need to be more aware of this smooth way to manipulate, not that we can do anything about it - but I think knowing that you are being manipulated is better than not knowing.
When I have an opportunity to spend the day with my wife, I generally jump at it. It is rare that we are able to run around together without the kids. It feels good to be a couple doing what couples do. Kelly came with me to work (dropping things off and picking things up) this week and it was great to have her with me. We added in a lunch with new friends and it shaped up to be a great day. I will say though, it could have easily been a forgotten day but then Kelly got that look in her eye (not that look... Unfortunately). As we passed a dumpster I saw her eye catch some furniture that had been thrown out. I knew immediately "the ask" was coming. I made a comment about what great chairs they were, internally dreading that Kelly would want to take home these six chairs. In the time she took to say, "I wonder why anyone would throw those out", I realized I was being given a chance to turn what would normally be a nice, but forgettable, day into a happy memory that we could share. Hopping on top of the dumpster I dropped in warning Kelly that I may emerge with a disease. The look on Kelly's face sealed the deal - this would be a happy day remembered because I went dumpster diving in Eaat Nashville for her without being asked.
Sometimes we need to do the work required to write a story into our lives that is filled with happy memorable moments. Too often we settle for "okay" and "forgettable" in our lives because "memorable" just seems like too much work. When we think about our family we need to be intentional in creating memorable moments that we can hold onto as we grow. Hard, bad, torturous, arguing, crying, sad days will come - it is these memorable moments that will remain and help us to hold on. Unforgettable, happy moments are more times than not, intentional. Whether planned far in advance or not - we remember when we make an intentional decision to experience something. I hope I will always be willing to jump into a dumpster, travel with the kids to Kelly's work, and buy a car on eBay half a country away. These are the things that become unforgettable because the work developed a happy memory we don't want to forget.
What can you do to make intentional memorable moments:
Coach your child's ball team?
Plant a garden with your wife?
Road trip with your husband to your favorite team's away game?
Volunteer as a chaperone for your child's field trip?
Work the overtime and buy your wife those tickets to Las Vegas?
Initiate a dumpster dive for 6 bright orange chairs?